Dog Shot Golf Club Membership — Monthly

Join the Club. £3 a month. No strings, no stitch-up.

Right, let's be honest. You've been playing as a Guest, tracking your howlers, watching the good stuff sit behind a door you haven't opened yet. Time to come inside.

Club Membership gets you into the Clubhouse — the good stuff behind the velvet rope:

Your Player Profile — a permanent monument to your triumphs and, let's face it, your Muppet awards.

The Badge Collection — proof of every glorious cock-up and rare moment of competence, immortalised forever.

Friends & Leaderboards — settle who's actually the Top Dog and who's buying the drinks, with receipts. (Friends leaderboard live now; Club, National & Worldwide coming soon.)

Set up in seconds, no faff — pre-populated player cards and one-tap invites get the round rolling before anyone's even off the first tee. And it's proper communal multiplayer: everyone marks on their own device, all feeding the same round — no passing one phone round the group like a dodgy scorecard.

Awesome Memories — where your rounds live on long after the hangover's gone.

AI Round Recaps — 2 with every month you buy, our AI writing up your round like a proper sports journalist who happened to witness a disaster. Don't use them? They stack up and never expire, so save them for the rounds worth immortalising.

Golf Trips & Stag Do's (coming soon) — organise the whole shambolic weekend without losing a single fine to "I didn't agree to that."

Here's the bit that isn't a con. This is not a subscription. No card details on file, no sneaky auto-renewal, no £3 vanishing every month until the hot death of the universe. You pay for a month, you get a month. Happy? Grab another. Sulking because you shot 112? Don't pay — nobody's chasing you. You only ever pay when you actually want to be in the Club. No "we've upgraded your plan," no cancelling via a phone line that's open Tuesdays 9–9:15.

Three quid. One month. Pay again if — and only if — you loved it.